I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My feet surprised me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
