well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
