then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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