I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
