Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
