i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
