Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
