She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
