Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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