In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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