Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
