I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
