just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
