You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
