I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
