8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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