my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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