im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
