I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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