yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
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