goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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