well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
