In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
