i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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