what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
