i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
