never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
