Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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