Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize