Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize