I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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