I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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