Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We need to rekindle our bromance
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
