i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
