Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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