hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
