i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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