Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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