Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize