Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
