i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
