Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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