The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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