But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
