A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
