i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
