I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
