Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize