ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
