Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize