I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize