I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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