Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
