you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You pole danced in your parka.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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