dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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