There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
