dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
