I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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