i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
