and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
