omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
