Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize